Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
