Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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