I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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