omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
