why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My ATM looks so different sober.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
