when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
