how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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