I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
