therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
