i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
