i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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