it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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