JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
