Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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