i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
