Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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