Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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