i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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