did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
