This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
