i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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