i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
