Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
