i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
