I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
