I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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