Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
