I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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