if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
