You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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