i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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