your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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