Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
