you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
