And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
