found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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