I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
