My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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