I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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