Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
