mondays should just be called national damage control day
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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