beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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