goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
