I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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