Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
