So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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