Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
