I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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