You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
