weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I need to stop coming to work sober
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I need to calm my uterus...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
