so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
