Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
