i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am spending my child support on dildos
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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