Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
